To coin an often used phrase from Jill:
Good news or bad news?
Except with Jill it's pretty much bad news both ways.
Also, she'll say "I have a suuurrpriiiseee for youuuuuu" and I'll be very excited and antsy and say "what is it what is it? tell me tell me!"
"I got new light bulbs"
....
*crickets*
Seriously.. work on that routine!
Good news:
We got the results back on my August 21st CT scan and all clear! Of course I've only just finished with radiation so I'd be surprised to see anything anyway but I was still a bit panicky the night before.
I hadn't thought about it much over vacation (which was delicious save for my sun rash). The night before our appointment with Dr. VanderWoude, I got totally freaked out and clammed up (as I do when I'm scared).
We get to the appointment and I'm totally freaking out. They always make you wait at LEAST an hour..
Jill was reading to me and we were laughing but then I was like "OK STOP". I just couldn't take the over stimulation. I needed quiet.
Dr. VanderWoude comes in and says her hello's. Usually after a scan she comes in and says right away what the results were. This time, nothing. I started to panic internally. Bells, whistles, alarms... flush of fear.
She says "so when did we schedule your scan?".
I said "um.. I had one on the 21st"...
"OHHHH, right.. I think I did see the results here..."
She scrolls down on the computer in front of her and I see the scan of the document and she says "lets scroll down to the meat of it"
The meat of it? Odd.
Then she says "Yup, everything looks good!".
UGHHHHH! What is she doing? She's that busy? She can't scan a chart prior to breezing into the room? This is when I'm happy about claiming bankruptcy. You'd think an oncologist would be a bit more apt with bedside manner. Not Dr. Dummypants.
Educated? yes.
Top in her field? yes.
Scatterbrained? YES.
I didn't care, though. Relief burst from me like a flock of swallows. I was so joyous. Happy to be alive. Smug to walk down the hallway looking at the other cancer patients thinking "not me". My inner voice is such a bitch sometimes.
My inner inner voice said "not me" right NOW but maybe "me" later... watch it, missy.
Never allow yourself to be TOO happy. What is that? I've tried since childhood not to let repression seep into me, but alas.
And then there's Mooki. Our new kitten.
I gave myself this gift after radiation. I decided with Jill and Lisa in the car that I wanted a new kitten. My dad's voice always says to me "you can't have that! too much... can't have that many.. can't handle it.. bad bad bad no no no".
Fuck it.
Jill's barista... and here I have to pause because do Starbucks employee's really consider themselves baristas? Anyway, she asked Jill if we knew of anyone who'd want a kitten. Jill said "hmm.. maybe!".
We went to meet him and I was skeptical. He bounded across the yard, tail in the air and came right to me. I picked him up and like a bad made-for-tv movie.. the camera spun around us as we gazed into each others eyes and fell deeply in love.
He's AMAZING. And I'm not just saying that. He's the lap cat I've dreamed of. He's super funny and super cute. He's a Snowshoe Cat. Never heard of them but they're a Siamese offshoot. He sleeps on me at night and if I get up to go to the bathroom, he follows me bleary eyed and we walk back to bed together and he gets back on me.
*cry*
I'm deeply smitten with this kitten.
Bad news?
I'm another cat closer to Crazy Old Cat Lady.
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