LALALALA.. I am the State of Michigan and I'm not listening...
Since I have been diagnosed with cancer (and of course before) I've felt very healthy and good. Cancer was a shock since I didn't feel sick in that way.
I've been weathering chemo rather nicely but now that I've been given good news (remission) Chemo has hit me the hardest.
My feet are constantly tingling. It's SOOOO AGGRAVATING! I want to claw at things. I feel generally icky. But I keep telling myself "only two more chemo's" and FREEDOM! Oh and hair. :D
I just want to whine. I'm glad no one really reads this (and they should stop here if they are) because it's a whinefest.
The pain in my legs is lasting much longer too. It scares me a bit. My sugar is all over the place because of these DUMB ASS steroids. My chemo nurse ramped the steroids down but it only seems to have worsened the negatives. I wanted to do so to control the sugar fluctuation. The higher your sugar, the worse the neuropathy.
I just want to prevent long term damage to my nerves from these incredibly toxic chemicals that are killing my cells but saving my life?
Chemo, I love you I hate you. I utter my particular chemotherapy drug names "carboplatin" "taxol" to myself. Makes me feel less prone to their power but it also terrifies me.
My regular doctor, whom I adore, was a bit shocked to learn of the chemo drugs I was being given. I forget his particular wording but I think he referred to them as "the big guns". He said his mom likes to run around saying she "went through chemo" and he would roll his eyes at her and say "Mom, you had hot flashes.. " because her particular chemo was in pill form and very "light".
I love doctor Bob. He is sweet and kind and will leave his hand to linger over yours or on your back. His bedside manner is spectacular.
The last appointment I had with him, he didn't charge me. I went to the car (feeling very weak after my first chemo experience) and Jill went to pay for the appointment.
No charge.
He knows I don't have insurance.
If same sex couples could marry.. I'd have awesome insurance. Jill is insured by the teachers union.
Still no word from Medicaid. Bills keep piling up. Over $60,000.00 now. I just look at it and laugh. Laugh and laugh and then try to shove the bulking folder back into it's resting place.
Either Medicaid will help or I will be claiming medical bankruptcy.
It's been since January that I applied for Medicaid and NO WORD from that agency. Michigan is in the pooper so maybe they're just pretending no one is applying for help.
HEWP HEWP HEWP!
First I must rant:
ReplyDeleteMedicaid sucks!!! Seriously, WTF do they expect people to do? It is so infuriating to me that you can not get Medicaid to help with all of this overwhelming debt you continue to be saddled with, but the loser on my street who lets her f'n 3 year old play out side by himself for hours on end can probably go to the doctor for an f'n paper cut free of charge 20 times a month! Where is the justice in that? UGH!
Okay…I am done now. J
I’m sorry to hear you are feeling worse. Only a little while longer and you will start feeling better. And don't you dare feel like a whiner. I have been having issues with pain the last few weeks that I am sure can't even compare to yours, and I have whined about that far more than you ever have, trust me. You are aloud to whine once in a while my love. ;)
xoxoxox
Anyone around you willing to organize some kind of fundraising thing for you? Maybe at least a website with a paypal account, so others know about this and can help if they want to?
ReplyDeleteKnowing you, you'd probably reject that idea of "charity", but I've to say, people really love you, and maybe THEY would be relieved to be able to help in some truly tangible way. I know I would. I don't know... I just don't see what you have to lose just putting it out there and seeing how it goes.
/idea
Love you mewmew. :*
Wendy, I heart you.
ReplyDeleteLauren, I heart you.. but you're crazy. :*
Still, the thought is lovely.
*cough*
ReplyDeleteLauren, I've thought of this as well.
Just sayin' :)