State Workers

You know what they say, don't you? About state workers??

Anyway, I was blessed with an exceptionally dim-witted processor. I can't even call her a processor since she hasn't processed anything.

Here's a nice and incompetent story for you.

I called my case worker last Monday. I hadn't heard a thing from the state. Not a letter of denial, nothing. She greets me and says "I'm so sorry, I've been sooo busy and backed up. Have you gotten your card yet?".

:O

"My card???"

"Yes, your benefits card"..

*pin drop*

HALLELUJAH!! No way. NOOO FREAKIN' WAY! Seriously??

She said it'd be faster to come down and pick it up. I made an appointment for the following Thursday.

I went to the state office. I waited.. and waited. A woman came out and called for "Melissa Oleson". That's not my name, but a dim twinkling of doom awoke in my fevered head. What if she mistook me for this other Melissa?
Nahh...

I'm waiting 40 minutes now for our scheduled meeting. She walks back in and calls my name. She apologizes and says she had me mixed up with another Melissa. See.. she has TWO Melissa's to deal with so, clearly, it's out of her realm of management to have TWO people with the same names in her case load.

Still they haven't determined my case.

Did I work? Yes. *bad*

Do I have kids? No. *more bad tsk tsk sounds*

She'll try but the system just isn't geared for uninsured people without kids.

*claw hands*

Whatever. I left there and cried a bit. No big deal. Mistakes happen. I was just very relieved... for a moment.

I had chemo again on Friday.

I slept ALL DAY today. Got up, showered and left for my noon appointment for my Neulasta shot. Came back and slept until like 4:30. I NEVER sleep like that but, of course, my body wanted it so I gave in.

Something inside me rails against sleep. I think it's my father's voice saying "losers sleep in" type of deal. Can't get anything done if you sleep, right? RIGHT! Loser.

Anyway, prior to my chemo there is always the appointment with the doctor.

Dr. Dummypants is what I like to call her. She casually mentions she wants to see if "they" think radiation would be good as the cherry on the top of my chemo sundae.

Once a day for 5 weeks. Weekends off, of course.

WAHHHHHHHHHH!!

Are you serious? Tell me you're kidding Dummypants. I can't take it anymore.

But hey, she said it's another step in eradication. Ok. Fine. ERADICATION.

My legs pain me so I am very pissy atm. :P

I don't want any more radiation or any kind of treatment. I want to walk out of the Lemmen Holton Cancer Pavilion and never ever walk back in. EVER. I don't want to see doctors or nurses or tubes or needles.

Holy shit. I can't tell you how many times I've been stuck with a needle in the past several months. It doesn't bother me much at all. BUT COME ON!

The stupid infusion machine that beeps when you're done and beeps when the battery is low. Don't sit in the cafe for too long or outside away from a plug because it will beep and make your ears bleed.
Please please just let me be done with this. Let me get back to boring life and my "it'll never happen to me" attitude.

Let me deal with my gigantic mound of bills and roll down that hill and watch it shrink as it fades into the distance. PLEASE???