Jubilation!

I had a CT scan last Friday (a week ago today). This was called a "progress" scan and doctors usually order them after 3 treatments of chemo to see if it's working.

The week was hard, but controllable until the night before. I couldn't sleep well. I went through scenarios in my head as to why she (the doctor) didn't have someone call to tell me good or bad.

Someone called with good news about my brain and bone scan. This must be bad news...

I let it go. I promised myself I'd just enjoy the week and deal with it on Friday when we met her prior to chemo (as we always do).

In the office, while waiting for her (which is always FOREVER) I think I had my first panic attack ever. My heart starting fluttering about out of nowhere. Skipping beats and generally freaking me out. My vision became a little blurry and I felt very dizzy.

I breathed through it and was fine but it was really kind of freakish what your brain can do to you out of the blue.

Dr. VanderWoude walked in and simply said "great news!" and handed me the report.

CT pelvis with intravenous contrast:

The enlarged right iliac lymph nodes present on the prior study have resolved (this is my favorite part.. 'resolved'. Sounds like heaven). No new enlarged lymph nodes are seen. There is no free fluid.

IMPRESSION:

1. Resolution of the previously enlarged right iliac nodes.

2. Stable small nodular densities in lungs.

3. Stable non-enlarged lymph nodes in the chest.

There had been 3 nodules in my lungs and they've remained the same size. This indicates that they're stable and non cancerous. They're too small to remove (under 4 mm). The doctor says it's very common, actually. Probably due to exposure to something like mold, etc. The lymph nodes had actually resolved prior to chemo so... nyeh.

Thems the facts.

We were elated. Tears, etc.

Of course this doesn't mean I'm cancer free. It means, for now, it's in remission. Hopefully forever!

I will continue with 2 more chemo treatments as planned because this can be a very aggressive cancer. Series scans after to monitor those crazy nodes.

I feel like I'm in shock. I am not a very demonstrative or dramatic person. I'm stable and that makes me feel safe and happy. I didn't let the bad get to me. I remained positive. I think the good is the same way. I feel so very relieved and happy but, deep down, I expected to get through this.

Great expectations, eh?

It may or may not be over. I'm too wary of an individual to assume anything else.

But, like Jill says.. this battle has been won.

HA!

In the indelible words of Jill.. "SUCK IT, CANCER!!"