Musing @ 5 am

Now, every time I feel sick I think "OMG IT'S MY CANCER!"... then I start panicking a teensy bit. I mean, they say stress activates cancer cells.. WELL JESUS HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT BE STRESSED??

A funny pain in my neck becomes a brain tumor. My way of thinking is changing. I'm a super hero when it comes to pain and illness. I put it out of my mind, I give it no power. But now, everything seems so ominous and cancer-related.

All I can do is keep my head down and move forward.

My dreams have been spectacularly lucid and vivid. Colors and patterns are so tangible.

My family has backed off (because they know me so well) but my friends have been relentless. I mean, c'mon! If we haven't talked in 10 years, there is a reason. My being sick doesn't change any of that.

I have a chosen, beautiful family of friends. I feel hot tears just thinking about the amazing and true love I've been gifted. I would do anything for these people. ANYTHING. I even told them I "took one for the team" by getting Cancer. The statistic says 1 in every 5 people get cancer... and my core family is about that. HAAAA!!

I should end this post before it gets any more boring. I'm just biding time until my Vicodin kicks in. *adjusts halo*